The Last Place a Man Looks
by Booksrgood4u
Summary: Perhaps the hardest thing for a thief to learn is how to mind his own business - especially where his friends are concerned!
1. Chapter 1

One of a few drabbles I've written for LoEM - depending on the response, maybe I'll post the others, so let me know what you think in the comments!

Perhaps the hardest thing for a thief to master was minding his own business, and Eli didn't intend to. After all, the first rule of thievery was to mind your own business, as well as everyone else's. Especially when the everyone else in question were your friends and team mates, Eli thought, glancing over his shoulder at Josef and Nico. It was abundantly clear to everyone except Josef how the girl felt about him. Powers, even that self-centered, oath-obsessed spiritualist girl had probably noticed. Normally, Eli considered it his duty, and indeed his pleasure to point out the obvious things that the swordsman occasionally missed. But Eli knew that there were some topics he ought to avoid if he knew what was good for him, his team, and his bounty. And Nico was generally one of them. But Eli was a thief at heart, and sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

Eli waited until they set up camp to make his move, asking Nico politely if she wouldn't mind scouting the area. She had shrugged and slipped off into the shadows. Eli waited a few minutes to be sure that she was out of earshot before turning to Josef.  
"I've been thinking about some things, lately," he began.  
"That's a first," Josef interrupted. Eli glared at him and tried again.  
"Did you ever think about what you're going to do with the rest of your life? "  
"I'm not following you," Josef said. Eli tried not to roll his eyes. Josef being dense in regards to such subjects was only to be expected.  
"What about settling down? Getting married or something. Starting a family."  
"I think you should have thought of that before you went and got a bounty on your head."  
Eli groaned inwardly with frustration. He wasn't talking about himself. Josef was not helping.  
"Well, what about you, then? Your bounty's nowhere near as big as mine."  
Josef snorted. "Who'd marry me? Besides, becoming the world's greatest swordsman is a full time occupation."  
"Well, what if you fell in love?" Even Eli winced at how ridiculous that sounded. Josef ignored him.  
"What if someone fell in love with you?" He tried again.  
"Look," Josef said, turning to glare at Eli, "I don't know where this is coming from all of a sudden, but it's going to stop. We are going to forget this conversation ever happened. I made a decision a long time ago to become the world's greatest swordsman, and I'm sticking to it, no matter what the consequences. And besides, life on the run doesn't exactly leave time for that sort of thing."  
Eli sighed, but he couldn't let Josef have the last word.  
"Just remember, Josef," he began. "The last place a man looks-"  
"Is under his own feet." Nico finished. Eli and Josef spun to find her hovering at the edge of camp. Eli hadn't heard her come back. He wondered how much she'd heard.  
"Who are we hiding from?" she asked taking a step toward them, looking slightly confused. Eli stole a glance at Josef who was staring at Nico like he'd never seen her before. Or never _really_ seen her, Eli thought, suppressing a snicker.  
"No one, Nico," He said walking past her and clapping her on the shoulder on the way by, sending her stumbling into Josef. "We're not hiding at all."

Thanks for reading!  
~booksrgood4u


	2. Chapter 2

Just another little fic about Eli trying to help out, Enjoy!  
_

"There's no help for it," Eli said after a few moment s spent staring at the tiny doorway to the tinier hallway that hopefully led to a room containing whatever prized possession he was after. Josef hardly bothered keeping track if there were no fights involved, and judging from the size of the opening, there wouldn't be any serious opponents on this job, except for the occasional mouse, but Eli ought to be able to handle that much on his own. "I'll have to go in alone. You two stay here and keep watch." Beside him, Nico nodded and began slip sideways into the shadows.

"Wait," Eli said, grabbing her wrist before she disappeared. Nico tugged her wrist away from him and glared, but stayed to hear what he had to say.  
"If you hide, poor Josef's going to be left standing here, sticking out like a sore thumb." He jerked his own thumb at Josef, who crossed his arms and joined Nico in glaring at him. "He always acts like he's standing guard." Eli continued, pointedly ignoring Josef.  
"I thought that was the idea," Josef interrupted, growing impatient. Eli rolled his eyes and turned to him.  
"You might as well be holding sign that says, 'Something Fishy is going on here!'" He exclaimed. "What good does that do me?"  
"And you have a better idea?" Josef asked without answering the question. Eli grinned, a slow mischievous grin that always meant that he was up to something.  
"Yes. As a matter of fact, I do." With no further warning, Eli turned to give Nico a shove toward Josef. She stumbled forward in surprise and Josef took her shoulders to steady her. Eli darted over to the door and started to step through it pausing to give Nico a long, slow wink over his shoulder. "Pretend to be lovers – I think that even your pathetic acting skills should be up to the task. Most people won't even give you a second glance." Eli disappeared into the dark hallway, and shut the door behind him, leaving Nico and Josef to stare speechlessly after him, Josef's hands still on Nico's arms. They stood there like that a moment longer, before Josef realized he was still holding Nico, and quickly dropped his hands. Neither of them stepped back, and Nico was looking up at him.  
"Eli's a moron." Josef said definitively, to break the silence. Nico didn't respond. "I don't know who he thinks he is," Josef grumbled uncomfortably. Nico looked away then, peering past him up the dark corridor. **  
**"Someone's coming," she whispered, putting a hand on his arm to push him a step closer to the wall. Josef darted a glance over his shoulder. He couldn't see anything, but he trusted Nico's vision in the dark far more than his own. He stepped back and took her shoulder to steer her gently toward the shadows, but Nico held her ground.  
"Eli's right, you would be kind of obvious," she said. Josef cursed Eli inwardly. He'd gone and made Nico feel responsible for the success of this mission.  
"I'll be fine," he reassured her, darting another glance over his shoulder. This time even he could hear footsteps and see a figure coming towards them. Josef cursed again and pulled Nico instinctively against him, hoping at least to protect her from view. She buried her face in his shirt and he worried belatedly about her cutting herself on all the knives he had strapped to his chest. Josef could feel her holding her breath. Oddly, the fact that she was holding her breath made the whole awkward, ridiculous moment slightly less awkward and ridiculous. Not because Eli's idea had any more merit than before, but because he knew how to handle it. There was no need to be nervous and certainly no need to hold her breath. They had gotten out of far worse before. Josef leaned down till he was close enough to whisper in her ear. "Take another breath," he whispered, and he felt her relax and let go of the breath she had been holding. The footsteps were very close now. They came closer, closer, and then passed right by. Josef watched the man walk by over the top of Nico's head, breathing a sigh of relief as he passed. Just when he thought they were safe, the man stopped short, turned slowly on his heel, and squinted into the dark, like a man who had seen something out of the corner of his eye. Josef's arms tightened around Nico, waiting for him to say something, to shout for guards, and thinking of the choice words he would have for the thief when he came back about this hiding in plain sight nonsense. The man squinted a moment longer before his face cleared, he chuckled a bit before he turned and continued making his way down the corridor. Josef waited until the footsteps faded before pulling away from Nico, grinning down at her upturned face.  
"It worked," he whispered, and she beamed up at him, her dark eyes shining with an emotion he couldn't place. He didn't have time to ponder it, though because Eli was pushing the door open behind them flattening the two them together against the wall. Somehow, it didn't feel so awkward anymore. Eli closed the door and cleared his throat. Nico stepped back and Josef turned around to face him. "If you two are ready?" he said, smirking at them. Nico was staring at the floor and Josef thought he could see the shadow of a blush on her cheek.  
"Yeah, let's go," Josef said starting off down the hall to divert attention from Nico. Nico stood there a moment longer before hurrying to catch up with them.  
"Did you get what you wanted?" She asked Eli, coming up behind him.  
"Yup," Eli patted his pocket. "Did you?"  
Nico's eyes widened, her gaze darting quickly to Josef and then back to Eli. Josef's eyes narrowed and Eli grinned.  
"Let's get out of here," he said cheerfully.

Thanks for reading!  
~booksrgood4u


	3. Chapter 3

Eli grinned as Josef threw down his cards and stomped off muttering something about scouting the area.  
"For a swordsman, he's a very sore loser," he commented to Nico, who was busy collecting the cards.  
She glanced up at him, but made no comment.  
Eli huffed in frustration. The girl had been with them nearly a month now, and he could probably count on one hand the number of times she had spoken directly to him. It was easier to get an answer from a rock than it was from Nico.  
"Why don't you talk to me, huh?" He asked, not really expecting an answer. She shrugged.  
"You talk to Josef plenty," Eli continued, making it his goal to get her to say _something_ before Josef came back, even if it was just to tell him to shut up. "And I'm certainly friendlier than he is." Nico raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief at this statement, and Eli congratulated himself on eliciting some response from her.  
"Has Josef been telling you stories about me?" he teased, "Is that why you don't like me? Because I assure you they're all false. Whatever they are." One side of Nico's mouth quirked upward before she got her face under control again. "And could I ever tell you stories about him!" Eli added. He didn't really having anything to tell, but he was fairly confident that she wouldn't ask, and if she did, he could always make something up. The ability to think on one's feet was essential to a thief. Nico's eyes narrowed at his implication, and Eli grinned. "There was this one time, when - "  
"Stop." Eli's smile dropped abruptly from his face in surprise, but a moment later, it was back in place.  
"She speaks!" he shouted in mock surprise.  
"I owe Josef my life," she said staring intensely at him. "I won't listen to you make fun of him."  
Eli's eyebrows flew up, wondering what this was about. Was it possible that the little demonseed had a crush on his touchy swordsman? This was certainly an interesting development.  
"Alright, alright, no need to get so worked up over it," Eli said, putting his hands up in a pacifying gesture. "I just wouldn't want him letting you think he was perfect or anything. Wouldn't want him lying to you, now would we." Nico clenched her fists, her pale cheeks flushed with anger, causing Eli to doubt the wisdom of deliberately baiting a demonseed.  
"I. Trust. Josef." Nico spoke slowly and clearly, enunciating each word. "He would _never_ lie to me. I can't say the same about you." Apparently having made her point, Nico turned and walked off in the direction Josef had gone. Too angry to watch where she was going, she walked squarely into Josef. He caught her shoulders and looked down into her flushed face.  
"Nico, what's wrong?" he asked. Eli rolled his eyes at the obvious concern in his voice. The way swordsman mothered Nico was absurd. She was a demonseed. Just because she looked like a child didn't mean she was one. Nico cast a quick glance over her shoulder at Eli before answering Josef. "Nothing, Josef, everything's fine," she said quietly. Josef's face darkened. "Is Eli bothering you?" he demanded, glaring over her head at Eli, who shrugged innocently.  
"I'm fine," Nico reassured him, looking away. Her face, if anything, had grown even more flushed from Josef's attentions. Eli smirked, his suspicions about Nico's feelings confirmed. The girl didn't just have a crush on Josef, she had a _massive_ crush on him. Eli wondered how Josef's tough swordsman act would hold up when he found out. It was already beginning to crumble whenever Nico was near. Eli's smile grew into a grin. Life was about to get very interesting


End file.
